I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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