my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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