I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
