thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
that is very illegal...i love you.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
