so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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