I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
