Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
