dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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