Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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