I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
