That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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