I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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