Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
