got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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