Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
