I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
