btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
