nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
