Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
