what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
