Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
