I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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