It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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