Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
