Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!

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(281): View more from Texas

I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.

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(217): View more from Illinois

his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs

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(420): View more from

Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.

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(330): View more from Ohio

ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN

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(548): View more from

No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.

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