Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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