Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
