why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
