That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just had sex on a roof
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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