I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
