Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
