Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
