Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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