If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Send help, water and tortillas.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
