We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
