if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
porn star boner night. come get it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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