dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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