If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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