Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
