R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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