Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize