I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
