fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
