That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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