and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
