got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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