At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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