If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
