So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
