i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
