i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
