I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My ass is underappreciated
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i believe in u and ur pee
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
