Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
