I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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