Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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